I have the nicest boyfriend, greatest partner. I don’t know what I’d be if I weren’t part of our own little team, I love him too much. It’s the nicest thing worrying with no reason and loving endlessly and always knowing things will be lovely and fine. He’s my rock and he knows it and I couldn’t imagine life without him. He’s my doctor but without the alienness and the regeneration and having to leave me and stuff. He just makes me happy and safe and loved and argh wonderful wonderful Alistair. 

This has been my outpouring of love for Alistair because I have been cranky all week and now he’s tired and irritable and I just appreciate him and his tolerance and love so much. He’s the sweetest and even when we’re cranky we’re cranky together. Officially seventeen months him and I have been together tomorrow and I want to give him the biggest hug and kiss already to make up for my week of madness. Too much love tonight for my little heart to handle!

Okay I feel that if you really knew me you’d know my huge dreadful underlying obsession with Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco but I kind of think as my life as pretty much before Panic At The Disco and then Panic At The Disco because ugh Brenden Urie and the amount of beauty and just ugh no someone hold me back no.

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If anyone suffers from generalised anxiety disorder or has suffered could you message me please. I’m looking for some support.

I love him so much and i’m still a bit scared but I know it will be fine and seeing him cry and knowing how I was about 5 minutes before, it was nice to be so raw and connected and back in love again. Next tuesday could not come fast enough I am going to cry so much when I see him that it’s not funny, it’s a bit ridiculous and I have so much to say to him that I couldn’t say over my smile tonight and ah just next tuesday oh my god. And tomorrow knowing i’ll speak to him again and it’s just like being so in love I don’t know what to do with myself, I can’t sleep and it’s 2 in the morning and all because i’m just so happy (and a little bit scared too) but mainly just happy and reliefed and excited and and so so so so anxious it’s not actually funny. I just saw his face light up and I wanted to burst into a thousand tears everywhere and the light heartedness he sees on my face, I felt it in my heart again for the first time in a long time and I just want to be with him and be happy and be together, in sync and connected which we haven’t been in so long. I promised to stop refusing his love which is honestly the best promise i’ve ever made and I hope that tonight is the start of us being even deeper in love in a better way than what we were before because that wasn’t healthy for both of us. His face when he started, my heart just filled with I don’t know what, love and everything I had to give him and I just, ugh not only do I just want to love him with my words and my feelings, I want to love him really and have him with me and tonight I can’t sleep because I can’t stand to think I’m away from him and not in the arms tonight or someone who I should be. Not all the time, but now is the appropriate time and I need it and he needs it and it can’t happen but the anticipation for it even though it’s not coming in so there in my heart and I don’t even know. I don’t know how to end this post and just total love sesh because I could talk forever about how much I love him and how lucky I am and everything but I won’t go on, i’ll keep those thoughts and feelings to myself where they belong because they’re honestly so great. I’m scared to go over some of the things he said but it’s important and i’ll do it again later for good measure too. I love him so much, i’m happy and as much at peace as I have been in far too long.

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I’m looking for a text post and I’m sorry i’m going to be ultra vague and say that the only thing I remember about it was it had something to do with comparing fish with life in general and I reblogged it a long time ago and saved it to my computer because I thought it was amazing and i’m looking for it and can’t find it so if anyone has any idea about what i’m talking about please let me know ^.^

I just want to paint!

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blegh im feeling really rough. having a really bad time right now. it’ll pass.

running a side blog is so saucy.
i’m basically hannah montanna. 

onlinecounsellingcollege:

1. They are arrogant and have a sense of entitlement: This is one of the key indicators of a narcissist. He or she believes that they are special, superior to others and deserve to be treated better than others. They like to brag of their successes and…

(via psych-facts)